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when you are awakened in the night to a pitiful crying, do you wake up to investigate or do you go back to sleep?  first, you tap your husband, nudging him slightly, as if to say “it’s for you.”  then yes, you begrudgingly get up

when you realize said crying is from the four-legged baby who usually sleeps through the night, but is currently prancing about at the bottom of the staircase, do you go down to find out what’s wrong?  well, since you’ve already gotten up, why not

but when you realize that all this pomp and circumstance is merely because the four legged baby has been gorging himself for the length of a workday on chestnuts falling in large quantities all over the yard and are now threatening to explosively burst forth from his digestive tract, do you for one tiny second feel sorry for the little punk?  absolutely not.  you kick him outside and head back to bed, excitedly waiting to do it all over again in 24 hours.

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